May 14, 2010

To Spank or NOT to Spank that is the question?

This is going to hurt me more than it's going hurt you!

Don't we teach our children that hitting is wrong. You do not say to your children "hitting is right". Most of us are not 'in favor' of hitting children. However, many parents who spank behave as if it is a good thing to do. You can't really believe that it's a good thing to hit people.

I was spanked as a child and believe me I was a master of testing boundaries but each of us kids knew how to earn a spanking and how to avoid one, but at the end of the day they were painful. I never really understood the purpose of the spankings because in my mind I would weigh out the consequences of doing something wrong with whether or not I'd get a spanking for it. So if staying 15 minutes longer at my friends house to play kickball would result in a spanking I'd take the extra 15 minutes every time. Spanking me didn't teach me a lesson it just taught me to be fearful of my dad and his belt.

When I met my husband we talked for hours about our childhoods, about how we would parent our children. When I heard the words "my kids are getting whippings" come out my soon to be husbands mouth I almost stopped talking to him. I knew if we continued in our relationship and went on to have children at some point in raising children we would disagree on how to discipline them.

Well 9 years into parenting and SPANKING was brought into our lives. Last night my daughter was having a major temper tantrum and I was trying everything I could to calm her down when out of her mouth she screamed SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UP! I've never seen my husband jumped off the couch that quick. Sure enough he took her to her room and spanked her. I sat here pretty much in disbelief. I do not want to spank our kids, and I WILL not spank our kids. I don't agree with spankings-PERIOD!

I heard my husband tell my daughter before he deploys her and her brother will have respect for your mother. You will listen and not run your mouth. But seriously, this is going to happen by hitting them?

The Bible Says:
"He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)

This is 2010, we don't live in biblical times any longer. I have never agreed with this statement. Do you agree with it?

To Spank or not to spank is every parents dilemma, but I'm on a mission now to make our home a NO HIT ZONE and figure out something that will make my children listen to us without HITTING them!

We never spanked our now 18 year old and she turned out wonderful. I know it can be done I just have to figure out how.

1 comment:

Waverly Rodriquez said...

I can't say that I believe spanking is the best way to discipline a child. However, I do believe that spanking a child (not beating) is a last resort method. I spanked my children's hands when I had told them NO to prevent them from touching hot stoves, avoiding electricity, etc. However, as my children got older, spankings were not necessary. Once a child can be reasoned with, I believe that it is best to take things away from them and have them earn the items back through a period of positive behavior. I have worked for 8 years with students with behavioral problems and find a very distinct line between those in need of a spanking and those in need of tough love. I also agree with what the bible says 100% but do not believe that it means to spank your children into their teens. A swat on the hand or bottom to deter them from a behavior that woud be harmful to them is one thing...I know I have slapped my daughter across the face when she was 13 out of pure reflex. She was being so hateful and rude and wouldn't stop and I open handedly slapped her across the face. I must say that this did bring about an immediate change in behavior when speaking to me in a disrespectful manner. So, as a mother and teacher, I believe in spanking to an extent. I spanked both of my kids and they have turned out well. After asking my husband, who raised three boys and never spanked his kids, is adamant about not spanking to this day. It is hard to agree upon and we still dont always agree on the form of discipline and punishment we should use with our kids. I am not sure if there is a right or wrong answer....