June 18, 2010

heart broken

Day started out bright and early @4AM with a pot of coffee, then made sure Miranda had double checked her suitcases, carry on and paperwork because once we left the house for the airport there was no turning back. We left the house by 4:30AM and hit the autobahn for Frankfurt Airport. Watch out world we're sending our daughter off to college. I managed to stay pretty strong the entire car ride. Didn't cry, yet. Did ok until we got to the ticket counter and heard the women say "you don't leave until July 18th!" WHAT?????? They booked Miranda's flight for July 18th and she was not on the flight leaving out today. The women said we could go to the United counter and see if they can get her on a flight today. Daddy and Miranda went to the counter and got it straightened out, thank goodness. Instead of having an hour or so to spend with her we had to RUSH to her gate so she could board. I don't think I knew what was happening. I thought we were going to check her luggage in, get her ticket, sit at Starbucks and have a latte so I could talk with her a bit more, snap a few more pictures, see her smile one last time. NOPE ticket in her hand and right to the gate. RUSHED RUSHED RUSHED. Hugged her good-bye and she started crying, I started crying. Tried to get some last minute photo's but managed to drop and break my camera. Watched her check her carry on and purse in. She walked through the security gate. Turned around and waved good-bye one last time........she's gone babe was what I heard my husband say.

I must admit that was the saddest day of my life and I have been through some pretty sad days. My life, our lives are forever changed now. There is no going back. There is no-more daughter needing mom and dad relationship. She's on her own now. She's about to take huge steps into becoming a young independent adult. Makes me sad to think I won't wake up tomorrow and hear her say hey mom. Or go to bed and peek into her room and tell her I love you, goodnight. Or see her dancing down the hallway with her Zune on signing. Now I have to wait on my computer sign into SKYPE and hope I see her smiling face on the other end. Wait for a FACEBOOK status update letting me know what her plans are for the day. Worry, worry and worry is going to be all I do until we return stateside again. I kinda hate living in another country at the moment.

Let the new chapter in my life begin. Learning to let go and watch my beautiful baby girl turn into an even more beautiful young women.

Well Miranda you did it girl. You graduated. Your starting this wonderful adventure called life now. This will probably be one of the best summer's of your life, enjoy it, soak it all up and have fun. College is right around the corner and that in itself is going to life changing. I'm so honored to be your mom and blessed to have had you. The twinkle in my eye is you.

Having a daughter means loving more than you knew you could love. It means giving more thank you knew you could give.It means receiving so much more in return...Having a daughter means knowing that whatever else you did or didn't do, You gave the world something beautiful.

I love you so much and even though we are far apart I'll always feel close to you


1 comment:

Sarcastic Sarah said...

AHHHH! I am bawling!! Bree, there will always be a part of her that needs you! Im 32 and every once in awhile I still call my mom for stuff! and when i was 18 I called ALL the time! hee hee hee!