August 20, 2011

MY life!

Was in a HUGE funk this entire week, everyday not wanting to get out of bed and when I did make it out of bed wanted to get right back in. I just wanted to sleep my day and nights away. Leave me alone shut the curtains and just sleep. I didn't want to face the day. To even have to think about what's going on and know there is nothing I can do about it. Who wants to start their day knowing it's just going to be full of nothing but heartache. Nobody that's who. This is nothing knew to my life. I've been enduring this pain since I was 19 and it's pretty much never has ended. So while sitting here feeling sorry for myself, for the life I've been living, for my choice in marriage, for sticking it out being a military wife, for pretty much everything I decided to watch a movie that always makes me have a very emotional cry feast afterwards....MY LIFE! I posted a YouTube video of what the movie is about. After watching this I said "what the hell am I doing"? "Why am I sitting here having a pity party about my life when I can CHANGE it". "When are you going to stop letting all this pain eat away at you and just set yourself FREE"! Well I answered myself the other night and said "I'm starting NOW"! And I will be. Next week I will be taking steps towards my independence. I will be taking a journey I've been waiting to take since about 2007. I'm scared as hell but know now that I want to do this. It has taken years to get here and I know it will take years for me to be at a comfortable place but I know in my heart this is what I need to do to make myself happy. Let this journey begin, my independence! Who's taking this journey with me?!?!?!?!


No comments: