Baby Steps

We're finally taking baby steps in the right direction YAY. I'm talking about my daughter and I and this wedge between us. A few months back she decided to have a full blown NO NO NO NO NO day No I'm not going to do that, No I'm not listening to you, No I'm not cleaning my room, No I'm not going with you to the gym, No I don't care if you ground me. So in the midst of all those NO'S I gave her one more warning and told her that the next time I ask you and you tell me NO I will come in your room with Glad trash bags and bag everything on your floor will be thrown away. She said GOOD do it. So I asked her to finish cleaning room this was her last warning/chance mind you before all these no's started I made her a mini check off list to make cleaning her room easier and to do it in sections but she proceeded to rip up the paper and throw it to the floor. I walked into the kitchen got the trash bags bagged up her room in 4  bags and took them to the trash. Then I took the most important things to her which was her Pokemon Card collection, her arts and crafts items, her Xbox and kinect, her t.v and stand, and her favorite stuffed bears and told her I was going to sell them. But Instead of selling of them I found a website to print off behavior bucks--->Behavior Bucks. So I printed a stack off cut them out and made a deal with her. I told her if you listen to me and say thank you when I buy you something and please when you would like me to buy you something and don't expect it to be given to you then I will give you a buck, as payday arrives you can trade in your bucks for cash and buy back your items. So far she has earned her Pokemon card collection back. She's working on her T.V and Xbox next. Now since having her little mini tantrums since daddy left from being home on R&R she has been grounded to her bedroom, and now you know it's a VERY boring room with nothing in it but her bed. She literally has to sit there doing nothing but read. I decided to reward her with parole bucks, when she earns enough she can turn those in and play outside for one hour. So far things are going pretty smoothly. She has begun to say thank you when I buy her something not expecting me to just buy it for her, she has not been picking fights with her brother, she has been staying her room and not coming out every 5 mins asking if she can get out. I'm pretty impressed. I have tried endless things with her and NOTHING works. Cleaning out her entire room didn't even do it. So in my progress to get through to her and make her understand the importance of things and people we've made baby steps in the right direction. Once school begins in a few short weeks she will be ungrounded from her bedroom. I hope everything is sinking in for her and this school year runs smoothly for her and I. II won't give up on her slow and steady is the way it has to be.

On a side note we had a very nice mother daughter day last night. Went to the mall and did some shopping well I did but I let her get something because she didn't ask for one thing the entire time then we had dinner and talked. She let me know things lately have been crazy for her. Daddy being deployed she thinks he will die and not come home, she is dealing with a mother on post that harasses her when she is outside playing{we're dealing with this}she's tired of moving around. She said her sister is gone, her daddy is gone, her cousins are gone and that all her friends move away. She is tired of changing schools and living all over. I think she is done with deployments and this military life style too. I told her thanks for sharing all that with me. Seems like she has a lot of stress to deal with and no real way to let it out. I think starting her guitar lessons and finding an art class for her will help. We ended our late night with a 3D movie at the Kino and she said  I had fun with you thanks for taking me out tonight...aw!