August 29, 2011

Whirlwind Kinda Day

As I anticipated today to be exciting I never in my wildest dreams imaged what would take place. The kids were up bright and early waiting to head to their first day back to school. Got them out the door by 0745 and I headed to the gym. Got my workout in then did my usual pit stops on the way home. You know checking the CMR[community mail room]for you civies, seeing if I got any packages. A run into the commissary and then home. Took Charlie out on his walk came in and put on Dr.Oz to get my fill of how to live longer and healthier and was pouring myself a cup of coffee when there was a knock at my door. Now I get no visitors unannounced EVER, my neighbor upstairs I told her just to come in no knocking and if people are picking up orders they let me know they're on their way so I expect the knock. But what was this knock. A very loud knock at my door. Being a military wife through 3 deployments I dread and fear that knock at my door, I say to myself "nah it can't be that knock". I put my coffee down and proceed to the door. But on the way to opening it my heart started racing, my hands shaking, I could feel my eyes becoming wetter, oh no it could be the knock I started to panic. I open the door and there are 2 soldiers standing there hats in their hands and ask "are you Brianna Holifield", I say yes. "We've been trying to contact you all morning and the cell phone on record isn't picking up nor your home phone". "Can we come in". I step back and think no this isn't happening I dont see a Chaplin, they aren't in dress blues or dress greens there is only 2 of them. They wouldn't come to tell me this horrific news without a Chaplin, would they? Then one soldier proceeds to ask me questions about my husband, his unit, if he's deployed and so on I ask "IS HE OK"? He says "oh yes mam I'm sorry this isn't about your soldier". I can not tell you the pure anxiety I had in just those few short minutes from the time they knocked on my door to entering my home, I thought my soldier was killed. I thought I was getting the news all military wives fear. The little shaking my hands were doing turned into uncontrollable shaking and I was crying. The soldier apologized and told me he was sorry. I told him "either way you almost stopped my heart in it's track". Asked if I could have a minute to gather myself and went into the bathroom and let our a huge sob. Wiped my eyes and came back into the living-room. After he told me what he was here for I was astonished they sent soldiers to my home for that and unannounced. They know my soldier is deployed. They know they didn't announce they were coming. Thank GOD that is had nothing to do with my soldier and he is alright. Had to spend about 2 hours calming myself down. I was so scared. A fear I have never experienced before. My goodness I don't ever want that knock at my door, EVER!

I know when I go to bed a million and one things will be going through my mind about today. I know I will cry, I know I will appreciate my soldier is alive and not killed in action, I know it's going to be a long night with very little sleep.

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